Hollaback! Story, Stalking

Anonymous story: “Right outside their apartment building staring at her”

My co-worker is 19 and lives in an apartment with her 20yr old friend. She told me yesterday that a few months ago one of them noticed a man standing in the wooded area behind their building staring at them. They thought it was creepy but just let it go. Last Friday, my co-worker was awoken by her room mate because the same man was standing right outside their apartment building staring at her while pleasuring himself. They did call the police but at this point they don’t know anything. Just wanted to let people know in the Clayton Park area.

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Hollaback! Story, Stalking, Verbal

Eleanor’s story: “They turned their car around to follow me”

I am 15 and I was walking to the corner store by my house at 9 one evening and it was still bright out. A pickup truck was stopped in front of the store with 4 or 5 men loitering, they started yelling at me saying things like “you gotta hit that” to one another and then after I refused to pay attention one of them yelled “yea well fuck you too bitch” I waited in the store until I saw them leave and then quickly walked home but once I reached the corner of my street they appeared and turned their car around to follow me, there was no question about it. I pretended to tie my shoe and they stopped the truck. I didn’t want them to see where I lived so I hid behind some bushes until they looped the street slowly and left.

I initially didn’t tell my parents because I didn’t want it to scare them like it had scared me but after talking to a friend I did and they contacted the police. They police were very nice, however, they were unable to do anything about the situation. It really angers me that people enjoy doing this for no greater reason than to terrify women.

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Direct, Green Dot Story, Hollaback! Story, Verbal

TL’s story: “They had their hands on her arms”

One Halloween, I was downtown with some friends. We had called it a night, most of the group lived in the same area or on the way so they split a cab and I decided to wait by myself for a cab to go straight home, since I was out of the way. I was hanging out in the well lit area by the bouncers when I noticed a girl dressed as a bee with her head between her knees sitting on the curb a ways down surrounded by a group of dudes.

I pointed this out to the bouncers and, like Halifax bouncers often do, they informed me it wasn’t really their business and they couldn’t leave the bar, so I walked over there. Once I was within earshot, I could hear some of the stuff these guys were saying to her, trying to get her to come with them and “party” at their place. They had their hands on her arms trying to coax her and she looked completely out of it. When I got up to her, I noticed her bee wings were bent, her shoes were missing and one of her thigh highs was rolled halfway down to her ankle so I just sat down next to her and asked her how she was doing.

She wasn’t very coherent, I tried to ask her if she knew these guys or where her friends were, she didn’t and she didn’t know. Her wallet was gone and she was completely trashed. The guys of course are telling me to fuck off, mind my own business, don’t worry about it, that they were her friends and just wanted to get her home. I got her to stand up and walk back to the bar with me (which of course incited a lot accusations about what a “Bitch/whore/cunt” I was, and an invitation to come fuck one of them). The guys walked off once we got up to the bouncer, called around on her phone to figure out where she lived so we could load her up in my cab and ship her off to the relieved roomies that had lost this poor, drunk bumblebee on E.

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Hollaback! Story, Verbal

Rebecca’s story: “It’s a good idea to scream a woman walking alone at night?”

I’ve had lots of issues with the purple houses at the corner of Agricola, Cunard and North park. Almost EVERY TIME I walk by, someone says something — and they’re always upset I don’t respond. I usually try to cross the street to avoid them, but that’s my daily commute.

On a Saturday I was walking home from Jazz Fest around 2 a.m. and left my friend at the corner so she could head off her direction.

I made sure to cross the street because a group of the purple house people were sitting outside, drinking and smoking. Most were guys but a few were girls. They had verbally harassed me twice earlier that day so I wasn’t into another interaction.

But they spotted me. Good fun, I guess. I had red on my shoes so they obscenities about how I was a rude bitch and was wearing ‘ruby slippers’ – I’ve gotten pretty good at ignoring it, but who the hell thinks it’s a good idea to scream a woman walking alone at night?

In case anyone in that group is reading this, when you do that, I get scared. I feel like you’re going to assault me. And that’s MY neighbourhood — not yours. I know and love many people in that area and it pisses me off that the same drunk assholes can keep ruining my day.

I've got your back!
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Article

Pro-Love

You may have noticed that we’re not big fans of woulda-coulda-shoulda in Holla-land. Gender-based denials of people’s agency and right to self-determination are wrong, and have no place here.

Unfortunately, there’s a bus full of protesters in Halifax this week that feel differently.

We disagree with the tone, tactics, and message of the protesters who are lining the streets of Halifax with graphic anti-abortion signs this week. It is wrong to shame and blame people for making the best choices they can about their body and their health. It is very wrong to endorse violence against medical providers and others who have helped people to enact these choices.

If you are disturbed by this campaign, here are some simple actions you can take that can have a big effect:

  • Join the hashtag ‪#‎signsightingHFX‬ on Twitter to report where the signs are, so parents of small children can take alternate routes (parents of older kids and teens may also appreciate having enough notice to prepare to have conversations with their children about the context)
  • Accurate information about abortion access and alternatives can be very hard to find in the maritimes. You can help by sharing the Your Choice Halifax site:
    http://yourchoicehalifax.com
  • Check out the amazing Pro Love counter-action planned for Thursday August 14th:
    http://www.facebook.com/events/1484637568451351

If someone has ever tried to shame you for your sexual and reproductive health choices, or if someone has tried to take those choices away from you entirely, we are so sorry that they did this to you. They should not have. You deserved better, and you still do. We’ve got your back.

www.yourchoicehalifax.com

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Hollaback! Story

Shannon’s story: “I know it wasn’t my fault”

Was sitting in rush-hour traffic on Bayers Road today and a man was sitting in a service van in the lane to my right. I glanced over to see if I could make a lane change and caught him staring at me. I pretended to fiddle with the radio and looked over out of the corner of my eye. I had time to do that, glance to the left to see if there was anything over there (there wasn’t) and down at my dress to see if there was anything happening there (there wasn’t) and tweet from my phone that there was a gross creep leering at me before the light changed and he pulled away.

I felt skeezed out even though I know it wasn’t my fault. I shouldn’t care about some pig in traffic. But I’m still kicking myself that I didn’t do something – take his picture, flip him off, roll down the window and scream at him, anything! The dude eye-raped me and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

Still pissed four hours later. Wished my fiancé was in the car, because he’s not afraid to call out @ssholes like I am.

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Hollaback! Story, Stalking, Verbal

Laurie’s story: “I’m fearing he wants to follow me”

This happened around 8:10 PM on July 3.

- I had just finished picking up some groceries and was heading for my car in the parking lot when I heard someone wolf whistle. I looked over and saw a man standing beside his cab leering at me. I gave him a cold stare back to indicate I wasn’t impressed and also noting his cab number.

- After putting my groceries in my car and getting inside, I looked over and he was STILL leering. He got in his cab and proceeded to sit… leering… still. Getting a little freaked out now, I decided to sit as well and wait for him to leave. After a couple minutes he did. I waited another couple minutes before leaving to give him plenty of time to get lost.

- As I’m driving through the parking lot, I pull up to an intersection in the parking lot and suddenly, there he is again. He waves to me as if to let me go ahead of him. I’m not getting in front of this guy because now I’m fearing he wants to follow me and I’m not letting him know where I live. He finally goes ahead and I follow him to exit the parking lot.

- He turns right. So do I.

- He turns his signal light on to turn right. I turn mine on to turn left. He switches his signal to now turn left. WTF??

- He continues down the street and pulls over… RIGHT IN SIGHT OF MY BUILDING!!

- Obviously, my paranoia is getting the better of me and I’m wondering if he already knew where I lived. Could be a coincidence but either way, I wasn’t going to pull into my parking lot and thus confirm of my actual home address to him.

- I drove by him, flipped the bird and drove away, turned down Oxford and then to a restaurant for supper. He was gone when I got home.

All of this was reported to the cab company who instructed me to report it to the HRM Taxi Commission who then told me to report it to the Halifax Regional Police.

Yes. I’m a little freaked out over this. I may be overreacting but I’m just going to be better safe than sorry.

Taxi Commission Ref #6202671
Halifax Regional Police File #14-93603

Incidentally, no surprise here but the females I spoke to who work for the cab company and the Taxi Commission were sympathetic and concerned with the story while the male police officer sounded quite apathetic and indifferent to the situation.

I've got your back!
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Laurie’s story has been slightly edited to remove identifying information (with her consent).

The roof light numbers on HRM cabs are unique identifiers, and are much easier to read and remember than licence plates. If you ever have a problem with a cab, make a note of the cab company and the number on the roof light in case you decide to report it. You can choose to report in several ways:

  • contact the cab company directly
  • call 311 to make a report to the taxi commission
  • or call a non-emergency police number: (902)490-5016

You can also choose to report even if you don’t have this information.

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Assault, Groping, Hollaback! Story, Verbal

Emma’s story: “I tried to push him off me”

I’m still mad at myself for allowing this to go on as long as I did. I’m in high school, and every morning and afternoon I travel on the school bus. We have a very small group of kids on my particular bus, maybe only 10 at the most, so we know everyone that is on our bus. There was one guy though, he was two grades ahead of me, on the football team, and very very big and strong. For months he would do things like grab my boobs and slap my ass, and pore water down my shirt. I would tell him not to do it, but I would always nervously laugh making it seem like I was joking. Why couldn’t I just be serious? I guess one of the other guys on the bus watched this because months later he stuck his hand down my shirt aggressively and grabbed my boobs. I told him to stop and not do that (this time in a serious tone) and he said “no it’s almost my stop let me do it before I leave”. I tried to push him off me but he was very strong. I couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t let me. It was the most scared I have been in my life, and for weeks I felt dirty, unsafe, and violated. I still do. I’m just so mad at myself for not being more serious early on, maybe it would have never happened if I had stopped them from the beginning.

I've got your back!
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Emma was very brave to share her story with us.
In Canada, sexual touching without consent is a crime under the category of sexual assault. If something like this happens to you, you have the right to report it to police. If for any reason you feel unable or unready to do so, you have other options. Here are just a few:

  • Avalon Centre in Halifax provides counselling to women and trans individuals 16-years and older who have experienced sexual assault, childhood sexual abuse, or sexual harassment.
  • Kid’s Help Phone (1-800-668-6868) provides anonymous, confidential support and counselling for children and teens anywhere in Canada.
  • All schools should have anti-bullying and anti-harassment policies and resources available to student and parents. Universities and colleges also often have counsellors or student-led resources (such as women’s centres) that can offer support.

If you’re not sure how to get the help you need, please get in touch with us. And of course, you always have the right to respond, and to share your story. We’ve got your back. Share it with us, or with someone you know and trust.

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